Teach your children well
Their father's hell will slowly go by
and feed them on your dreams, the one they pick
the one you'll know by.
"We got off the Titanic
first.
We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.
We get to flirt with systems
support men who always return our calls and are nice to us when we
blow up our computers.
Our boyfriend's clothes make us look elfin and gorgeous - guys look like complete idiots in ours.
We can cry and get out of speeding
fines.
We've never lusted after a cartoon
character or the central figure in a computer
game.
Taxis stop for
us.
Men die earlier, so we get to cash
in on the life insurance.
We don't look like a frog in a
blender when we dance.
Free drinks. Free dinners. Free movies (you get the
point).
We can hug our friends without wondering if she thinks we're gay.
New lipstick gives us a whole new lease on life.
It's possible to live our whole
lives without ever taking a group
shower.
If we forget to shave, no one has to know.
We know which glass was ours by the
lipstick mark.
If we're dumb, some people will
find it cute.
We have the ability to dress
ourselves.
We can talk to people of the
opposite sex without having to picture them
naked.
If we marry someone 20 years
younger, we're aware that we look like an
idiot.
There are times when chocolate
really can solve all your problems.
Gay waiters don't make us
uncomfortable.
We'll never regret piercing our
ears.
We can fully assess a person just by looking at their shoes.
We're NOT
men."
(2) MASCULINE OR FEMININE ?
An dear old friend from the red-soiled province of Misiones, Cristina Mayol <cmayol@arnet.com.ar> writes :
I have
just arrived and checked E- mail; I
found your two last issues of SHARE , and I love them, and only now,
back home with batteries recharged and a contented soul, can I avail
myself of taking a couple of minutes to forward SHARE to some colleagues in
Misiones. I'm sure they'll love them! Thanks for sharing with
us!
Cristina also sends her congratulations on Womenīs Day to all the women teachers on our List and this linguistic contribution to the "war" between the sexes :
"A language instructor was explaining to her class that French nouns, unlike their English counterparts, are grammatically designated as masculine or feminine. Things like 'chalk' or 'pencil,' she described, would have a gender association although in English these words were neutral.
Puzzled, one student raised his hand and asked, "What gender is a computer?"The teacher wasn't certain which it was, and so she divided the class into two groups and asked them to decide if a computer should be masculine or feminine.
One
group
was composed of the women in the class, and the other
of men. Both groups
were asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.
The
group of women concluded that computers should be referred
to in the masculine gender because:
1. In order to get their
attention, you have to turn them
on.
2. They have a lot of data but
are still clueless.
3. They are supposed to help
you solve your problems, but
half the time they ARE the problem.
The men, on the other hand, decided that computers should definitely be referred to in the feminine gender because:
1. No one but their Creator
understands their internal logic.
2. The native language they use
to communicate with one
another is incomprehensible to
everyone else.
3. Even your smallest mistakes
are stored in long-term memory
for later retrieval.
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it."
"APIBA
(Asociacion de Profesores de Ingles de Buenos Aires) has recently
launched
the APIBA SIGs (Special Interest Groups) in order to enable
teachers with
similar interests to share ideas and make contacts through
regular meetings,
newsletters and conference events. Like APIBA as a whole,
the SIGs are
committed to encouraging professional development and
networking.
A SIG is
not a course -- a SIG is a study group in which all members
participate and
exchange ideas and opinions. Those who wish to participate
don't have to be
experts in a particular area - they just need to be keen to
learn new things,
share ideas, deb